A little pork pie

[leeboy]

Hi guys,

Have you ever told a lie (sorry i didnt mean a nice tasty pork pie) to obviously make you look good? (in a sports world).

im yet to have the chance to lie as people dont ask me how im doing they all know im poo !

i ask because i heard a great one today off my unfit unhealthy over weight auntie, she claims that even though she has been swimming 2 times a week for 1.5 months she can now swim 1 mile in under 30 mins breast stroke with ease

[chris]

A lie is only a lie if it is consciously told.

Your "unfit unhealthy over weight auntie" probably has no concept of how far a mile is. Ergo, it's not a lie, it's lack of education.

[jamiemcp]

A larger and slightly less fit mate, claimed that he swam 2 and a half miles 3 times a week after he had been to the gym.

Went swimming with him once, he lasted 20 mins befor retreating to the sauna

[trex]

A work colleague once claimed to have cycled at 25mph on her exercise bike for 50 minutes, she didn't take it too well when I told her that that sort of speed would probably take her around and about the Scottish ladies TT champion. Ignorance is bliss... maybe I shouldn't say too much with my current times in Tom's Tritalk Turbo Time Trial Thing (anyone remember that?)

[leeboy]

she stated that 67 lenghs in the pool (18m) at a leasuirely (sp) pace totted up to the mile swim.

when i told her thats a great effort, she interupted me saying with time she will get better......


have i told you i can swim 2,4 miles in a second

[robert]

ALWAYS!

Before any sporting activity, I'll run off the list of excuses why I may not be up to scratch. Then, if I do well, it's always "not bad, considering I [insert excuse]"

Best was when we used to do it for training rides, before all these terminally ill cyclists statred pacing at 30mph!

[chris]

I always have a list of excuses for poor performance. The real reason, of course, is no training at all, but it sounds better if you have the clap or something.

My old running partner used to suffer from wildly-inflated-distance-and-time syndrome. He'd tell me that he'd made it round Rickmond Park in 45 mins, and when we'd then go at the weekend, he'd drop off the pace after 30 mins and then get round in 1hr 20.

I forgave him though, as he is now 16 stone.

[badger]

I don't lie anymore - I used to think I could climb hills, or be a good cyclist in any stretch of the imagination.

To some commuters and shoppers I might be good, but it has rapidly dawned on me that I'm really, really rubbish.

I can probably run and swim farther than most people, but faster? Nope.

Have a friend who touts me up as an Ironman - but Ironman is more mental than anything. I was confident I could do the distances, and I finished. I don't lie; I don't talk about me anymore.

Now work, on the other hand, is all about white lies. Have you faxed that yet? Yes. Have you booked Le Gavroche for Friday? Mais oui. Have you finished the grant application due today at noon? Just finishing it up now! By the way, what's your phone number again? 'cause I can't go any farther until this box is completed ...

[chris]

badger said:

Have a friend who touts me up as an Ironman

Is it a lie to let people assume the wrong things about you? (not in your case here).

My mother, bless her - I told her that I'd done Tough Guy and she quickly put that together with Ironman and decided that I was an Ironman. She tells people of my great sporting feats.

I've also met people who then go off telling me how hard triathlon is and how I must really train a lot. My wife puts them in the picture saying that I barely train at all. People then think I am some sort of imortal uber-human who have perform feats with no training. I just say its really about pacing and anyone can do the distance if they go slow enough.

This is taken as modestly, and I am lifted onto the unobtainable pedestal in the sky, sitting next to Hercules.

Really, please people, really, the fact is that I don't train much, I don't go fast and I'm not an Ironman. I've done a few races, I always finish and I'm only doing it for rubbishs and giggles.

[robert]

chris said:

badger said:

Have a friend who touts me up as an Ironman

Is it a lie to let people assume the wrong things about you? (not in your case here).

Nope.

You're telling the truth but not the whole truth.

Not your fault if people misunderstand!