Swimming and Umpa Lumpa's !!!!

[wiganer]

RANT:

Just got back from a shortened swim session totally piggled off due to the fact that the pool where I swim dont enforce their lanes strongly enough......I am sick of umpa lumpa's (i.e fat lazy bumd owd birds) swimming...well bobbing up and down.....and refusing to move out of the way.......gets me all mad...

take tonight, I set off on my length and catch the umpa in front of me just as we get to the turn.....does IT move over and let me past...oh no...it spins round and pushes off !!!!! what am I supposed to do eh ? so I stand up and walk behind her for the full length and then right at the end walk past her and touch first....childish I know, but it proves a point.... they bob up and down for half an hour and think it does em some good......the fact they are all still 5 stone overweight doesnt seem to register.

RANT OVER !

[tc]

maybe they enjoy it tho, umpa lumpa's have feelings too, you umpa-lumpa-ist.

darned annoying isnt it. didnt you rant at one or rant at the pool attendants to enforce some action? or were you afraid the umpa lumpa would clobber you with its chicken wings?

[andys]

The only place in my life where I've have regular arguments is in the pool. Never had a fight, argument in a pub or anything like that but I get regular hassle at the pool for all the same reasons you talk about. The daft fatties (usually men in our pool) are pretty much the only reason I can't stand swimming and why I don't go.

[wiganer]

tc said:

maybe they enjoy it tho, umpa lumpa's have feelings too, you umpa-lumpa-ist.

darned annoying isnt it. didnt you rant at one or rant at the pool attendants to enforce some action? or were you afraid the umpa lumpa would clobber you with its chicken wings?

didnt look like they were enjoying it the miserable fat knackers !!..just bobbin up and down and getting in the way.....its not usually that bad as they have three lanes for swimming but the kids lessons were taking up 2 lanes tonight instead of 1 so it compounded things a bit...... going to have to adopt the "sideswipe" technique as we pass....a few broken ribs wont do em any harm, might stop em eating for a day or two.

[foggy]

Same happens at my closest pool - is a real shame as it is only 3 or 4 mins down the road so means I have plenty of time for a decent swim before having to get back for work, whereas Hampton pool is 15-20 mins at that time on a morning so dont have a lot left from an hours swim.

3 lanes at Hurst pool - they should relabel them, stupid stoke lane 1, widest slowest stroke lane 2 and then fast lane 3. Its only lane 3 that is any good but I dont go in there as I tend to be doing sets and am not very consistent speedwise and dont wish to impede those that are....means that I get to try and swim in the total joke that is the middle lane.

When my father in law ran a pool he had the signs printed up with rules under the lane type - so fast lane was front crawl only, medium lanes no backstroke allowed etc which meant that the lifeguards were able to enforce stuff without confrontation as they could point to the signs and explain it was pool policy. This meant the pool was great for people who actually wanted to swim. The lifeguards at most places seem to just sit about and do bugger all.